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Ironic Sales

While I was joining Phil and my mom on some errands, I noticed a skateboard shop in a strip mall. However, next to the shop was a sign that read, “No skateboarding.” A little ironic, isn’t it? I know why they set that up, but it’s still pretty funny.


Atsumete! Kirby Boxart

Nintendo recently released the boxart to Kirby’s next adventure on the DS:

I hope they don’t change it. I like a happy Kirby; an angry face really doesn’t increase sales.

A Royal Promise

“We must not promise what we ought not, lest we be called on to perform what we cannot.” – Abraham Lincoln

This quote is very much true. Many businessmen make promises such as “high quality, low price,” or “free repairs,” or anything else they can come up with. However, these policies they have hidden away in these folded sheets of paper in the back of the box state some restrictions or exceptions in small print. It gets tiring, especially since that the consumers have no choice but to buy the product, because it’s probably the best one can buy.

For example, the iPod; it has a large amount of support from different operating systems, and the iTunes Store contains millions upon millions of songs, movies, and TV shows. However, my iPod Nano has some glitches, namely errors that leave me wondering, “Professionals make these kind of programming errors?” How hard is it to set up an if-else statement to make sure a vector or an array doesn’t leave the allocated space? Not very, and this is coming from a three-year, high school programmer.

And iTunes makes turtles seem like race cars, since it takes too long for it to load, and then it freezes up for a few seconds if my Nano is connected to my computer, rendering it useless until it can respond again. How much memory does a media player need? Windows Media Player runs faster than iTunes, and that program has the same features, if not less. And Finale, a product by MakeMusic, isn’t all that great, either. It takes forever to convert an MUS file into an MP3 or WAV file compared to third-party software. Furthermore, the soundfont engine it uses, for some reason, interprets the samples differently than other software. Ironically enough, Finale is the top music notation software in the market; it’s used in Hollywood films, TV shows, classical music halls, churches, video games, and so on.

At Magister Tech, I won’t allow that. Any software and hardware that is built at the company will follow standards set by the ISO, and will be able to run on Windows, Mac, and Linux operating systems using the correct GUI than simply porting over the code using a library (that’s right, WINE, we’re not going to use you) or emulator. And our programs and devices will not have glitches; I’ll make sure they are bug-tested before they are released and sold. If there is a glitch, a free firmware update should fix that. Just hook up your device to a computer, run the Magister updater, and let it download and install itself.

And instead of releasing the same program every year, you can pay for specific features as opposed to buying ones you will never even use (who actually listens to the radio on their iPod?). That doesn’t mean I’ll rip you off and say, “In order to buy this feature, you’ll need to buy this feature! HERPADERP!” No. You decide the features that you want to buy and use. And I’ll offer trials for said software and additions, so you can decide whether or not this feature is for you. These demonstrations can either be time-limited or feature-limited by your decision. And of course, we’ll offer free features when it applies.

But what’s a program or a device when you can’t customize it? A useless piece of crap. Let’s say you have one of our MP3 players. Don’t like the OS? No problem, just install a new one (or send us an e-mail to tell us what you don’t like about it). A free feature will be included that will allow programmers to program and install their own operating system of their choice. Clearly, it’ll be a free OS, like Linux, but Microsoft and Apple are welcome to sell operating systems for any of our devices, though a small fee will be enforced; we have to have some way to pay for all this stuff. You can use any OS for your computer, so why can’t you use any OS for your MP3 player?

Now, how are we going to pay for all this? That’s our problem, not yours. All I ask is to give us a chance. Yeah, the company doesn’t exist just yet, but look for us at your local Best Buy or Wal-Mart. But if you’re interested in knowing how, here it is: honesty. To be honest (hahah), I don’t like it when I get ripped off by some corporate giant. Either I deal with it or move on, right? Wrong. If you don’t like something about us, tell us now. I can’t promise a bunch of free stuff (we need to pay our employees), but I can promise a bunch of fair prices. You won’t have to spend $30 for software that’s worth half-a-dollar. Seriously, it’s stupid.

Also, a cookie for the first person to get the title’s joke.

Georgia Immigration Law

Recently, Georgia governor Nathan Deal passed an immigration bill titled “HB 87” that states that the police would have a right to check a proven criminal for their immigration status and would force businesses with more than ten employees to do the same for their staff.  Many farmers are concerned that this could lead to a potential economic crisis in Georgia due to the lack of hands to tend to the crops, and many immigrant opposers stated they would boycott all Georgia products and services until this law is declared unconstitutional for the reason of racism and prejudice.

Now that I’ve done more research on this bill and its effects, I’m somewhere in the middle. On one hand, it would open proper American citizens to jobs that were previously handled by illegal immigrants. On the other, this could lead to a legal, respectable Latino driving along the road, minding his or her own business, and suddenly being pulled over by an officer to be checked for their immigration status. To me, this is unfair. But for someone who is unemployed, I think it’s unfair that I don’t have a job yet those that crossed into this country without permission do.

I am fine with people coming into Georgia (or any state, for that matter) and living a presumably normal life; I do not want to deny them that. I’m just concerned about the many that are unemployed because a job is taken by someone who is not supposed to be here in the first place. I am aware of the economic opportunities other countries do not have; but the United States is already in a recession, and employment is not at an all-time high.

At the same time, the law could present problems regarding the economy. Because the farm workers now have less hands to work in their fields, they can only produce so many crops, thus their affluence will not be as significant as it once was. There needs to be a circulation of money in order for the economy to work, like an organism and its blood. Furthermore, the possible boycott could create even more economic turmoil as Georgian products will be denied purchase, creating a possible surplus of useless products that would only cause more problems.

I don’t know which side I will take, but I do think this bill could both help and injure our economy. So, either way, we’re not really gaining anything other than keeping our title as being the “Deep South.” Yay.

Status Update – Draconic Mating Season



Nintendo, Call it Tough Love

All right, Ninty, listen up. E3 is just around the corner, and I have a bone to pick with you. For too long, I’ve been nice to you and supportive of what you’ve done. But this lack of support of gamers is just pissing me off. First, you promised Brawl would be released as a launch title, yet the game was released in 2008. Then, you said you would improve your online infrastructure, yet we still have friend codes. Then, you said there would be Wii content before E3 2011, yet there’s nothing. Then, this crap about online support for the 3DS, and we all know what happened to that. Now, you’re saying Project Café will bring back the core audience. But you’ve been doing a lot of talking, Ninty, but no action, and quite frankly I’m sick of it.

I don’t want to spend two-hundred-something-dollars on a system that only gives me a portion of what the Xbox 360, which is five-year-old technology, can offer. And it’s not about the graphics I’m worried about; I’m concerned about the software, the online, the processor. The reason as to why the Wii had very little support was because the hardware wasn’t even any better than the Gamecube. Developers don’t want hardware that is sub par compared to the other systems. I’m not asking for an HD system, but as a future developer I’m asking for a powerful system. It’s difficult enough to port a game over to another system, but to reduce the power? That’s not what anyone wants to do. That’s why we don’t see Batman: Arkham Asylum, BioShock, Pure, and the like on the Wii.

And work on your online structure! Stop this “gamers don’t need online” bull-crap. Uh, apparently they do, since millions of gamers play Halo and Call of Duty online every day. I’m not a fan of online-only gaming, but I would like to see more from Nintendo’s online service. I understand it’s expensive, but Sony could provide a good service (before the hack, that is); and if you need some cash, offer a paid service with more features. I want to play Star Fox 64 3D with my buddies Ahmad and Brendon from miles away than to have to meet up at one of our houses. People can’t do that anymore due to a “terrible” thing called life, and I’d like to continue playing games with my friends. And friend codes are not the answer. It’s much more difficult to remember a series of random numbers and letters than to remember a username. I don’t want to have to remember 9546-4486-1268.

And is Pandora’s Tower going to see a Western release? Why can’t you localize these Japanese titles? I understand Earthbound did not do too well, but the Mother franchise now has a following. If sales are your factor for localization (which I can understand), then try to hype the game up for an audience that would be interested in such a product. Marketing is key!

Ugh… I just want the old Nintendo back, not this Apple-wannabe. I miss the fun of buying a Nintendo system. Now, it feels like I’m not getting my money’s worth anymore. I’m going to get the next version of the 3DS, because it’ll have more features and more games for it by then. As for Project Café, Nintendo better impress me. I already have an Xbox 360, so I can just keep buying games for that system. Ninty, to quote someone else, you “are the architect of [your] own destruction.” I wish you luck, but be careful. Mario and Kirby are the only two that are keeping me a paying customer, since it doesn’t seem you’re too interested in Star Fox nor Pikmin.

Oh, and Morgan Webb? Go suck my dick. :D

9/11: The Movie?

Today, in my American History class, we watched various documentaries regarding the September 11 terrorist attacks against the United States. Just like Pearl Harbor, 9/11 had a significant impact on the way Americans think. To this day, it still affects us significantly. While I watched those films, I began to wonder if there would ever be a big-name film about that abhorrent event. I am aware of the documentary shown at the New York film festival, but I wonder if there could be a film based on the factual accounts of the attacks.

I should watch the documentary before I decide to work on a film like this, but I think, if done well and respectably, this could be a very emotional production. Of course, if I do make this, I’ll make sure to be respectful toward those that lost their lives and those affected by the event — Christians, Muslims, Jews, whites, blacks, Arabs, Americans, British, Germans and so on in this near-endless list. I ain’t racist.

Jerry vs. Weegee

“Jerry” is what I’ve decided to call my strange sketch of Perry — kinda like how Weegee is to Luigi.

Perry the… Platypus?

This is the best I can draw anything. I’m not even playing with you. Damn, this looks like a cross between Perry the Platypus, that 4Chan happy face, and something Jack Nicholson would dream up after doing weed for two hours straight. I added wings because someone on deviantART asked my friend to draw a platypus with wings in the Adventure Time-style. This… looks nothing like what he wanted. Ah, well.

At least I’m better than Chase, right?

… Right?